When it rains it f'n pours
Well...
I don't even know where to begin. Yesterday was a true test of my strength in character, that's for sure. I was told that I didn't have what it takes to manage the shop I've being slaving my soul at for the last 4 yrs...we'll just give it to the "new guy" instead. Really though I can't even be upset at who it was given to because he's prolly one of the nicest guys I've ever met & he definately didn't set it up that way. My disappointment lies in the guy whom has burnt me before in a very similiar situation 2 1/2 yrs ago. (We'll leave names out of it but what a WEASLE!) It sux. I hate my emotions as well; I'm the type of person that when I get angry or frustrated I can't stop crying, how flippin embarrassing. I wish I was tougher in that way. Too much of a feeler I guess. Doesn't help either with the fact that everyone of my friends ROCK so when I see them out come the waterworks.
I wish I could tell Ian where to shove his so called "promotion" Seriously I'm finally getting paid for what I've been doing for the last 2 years. Gee thanks guy.
So after all that hoo-ha I was suppose to be bound for good quality family time at the lake. Lake Deifenbaker to be exact. For my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary meaning all the aunts, uncles, cousins I haven't seen in awhile would be there, loving me up, making me feel better. For those of you that don't want any "downers" please stop reading now.
At first it was awesome. My mom consoled me, my sister made me some drinks, & I was able to sit around a roaring campfire with my fave uncle whose surpassed some pretty amazing hurdles this last year. It was good. Yet I started to notice some tension from my other uncle Ronalt whose married into the fam to my mom's sis. He tends to get quite drunk (all the time I guess) & proceeds to make a big ass out himself to the point where people are uncomfortable. The great thing about my fam is they can be big ignorers. SO the night continues.
My drunk uncle then starts to get real obnoxious & starts to call all of us "canadians" boring wimps. (hes native to brazil) we can;t handle the heat & such nonsense; while he's piling so much wood on the fire poeples faces are burning off. I try to break the ice & make fun of the situ. & comment man how are we wimps, we live in bloody Sask where it's one extreme to the other.
He then starts to swear up a storm of gibberish & my other uncle asks him to tone it down a bit, there's little kids around. Drunk uncle retorts, my own f'n kids are around I can f'n swear if i want, f***, f***, F***!!!! It's getting heated, I'm sitting between the two so I tell them to both stop it. I tell my kool uncle to forget about it, it isn't worth it. Then drunk uncle looks at me & tells me
"shut the f*ck up. just shut up shut up shut up shut the F*** up!"
I'm so close to tears & ask him why would he say that he's my uncle. He tells me again. He keeps telling me over & over again so I can't even open my mouth. Now after the day I've had I can't take it. I tell him no i'm not taking this I WILL NOT shut up. Things escalate my aunt gets involved & then my unlce tells her to shut up as well. He looks like he's going to hit her. The family is appalled. All hell is breaking lose. My uncle gets irrate & starts throwing logs into the fire to the point where he may hurt someone. He's yelling his head off. He wants to hurt my aunt. My dad gets in & takes him down. My aunt screams its done, they're over, yes he beats her. My gramma is screaming at my uncle to never tell her own daughter to shut up. I'm shaking. Fitting end to a wonderful day.
Today everyone woke up to a beautiful warm day on the beach but walking on eggshells. My aunt looks so sad & broken, my asshole of an uncle has the tenacity to hang out with everyone all day like nothings happened. He looks at me with defiance throughout the day , no sign of apologies there. What have I ever done to him? I'm now home. I asked my dad to drive me back tonight. I couldn;t handle watching my uncle drink again. I f'n hate binge alcoholics, & no one in my family is stepping up. He needs to be removed. NOW.
Wow did I ever spew out personal shite on this "blog" tonight. I guess I'm lonely, & need release. I need fucking gratification right now that I'm a good person. What a fucked up couple of days. How am I to face work tomorrow?? Thank god only 3 more days. I'm going to Shambhala to recharge & come back a somewhat patched together me.
Bono I'm going to miss you....thanks for coming by work on friday. It's so amazing how much energy & strength you give me, I've never been able to communicate that to you (i suck with feelings) i'm sure counting down the days til jordy & i hop on that u'haul to vancouver.
I don't even know where to begin. Yesterday was a true test of my strength in character, that's for sure. I was told that I didn't have what it takes to manage the shop I've being slaving my soul at for the last 4 yrs...we'll just give it to the "new guy" instead. Really though I can't even be upset at who it was given to because he's prolly one of the nicest guys I've ever met & he definately didn't set it up that way. My disappointment lies in the guy whom has burnt me before in a very similiar situation 2 1/2 yrs ago. (We'll leave names out of it but what a WEASLE!) It sux. I hate my emotions as well; I'm the type of person that when I get angry or frustrated I can't stop crying, how flippin embarrassing. I wish I was tougher in that way. Too much of a feeler I guess. Doesn't help either with the fact that everyone of my friends ROCK so when I see them out come the waterworks.
I wish I could tell Ian where to shove his so called "promotion" Seriously I'm finally getting paid for what I've been doing for the last 2 years. Gee thanks guy.
So after all that hoo-ha I was suppose to be bound for good quality family time at the lake. Lake Deifenbaker to be exact. For my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary meaning all the aunts, uncles, cousins I haven't seen in awhile would be there, loving me up, making me feel better. For those of you that don't want any "downers" please stop reading now.
At first it was awesome. My mom consoled me, my sister made me some drinks, & I was able to sit around a roaring campfire with my fave uncle whose surpassed some pretty amazing hurdles this last year. It was good. Yet I started to notice some tension from my other uncle Ronalt whose married into the fam to my mom's sis. He tends to get quite drunk (all the time I guess) & proceeds to make a big ass out himself to the point where people are uncomfortable. The great thing about my fam is they can be big ignorers. SO the night continues.
My drunk uncle then starts to get real obnoxious & starts to call all of us "canadians" boring wimps. (hes native to brazil) we can;t handle the heat & such nonsense; while he's piling so much wood on the fire poeples faces are burning off. I try to break the ice & make fun of the situ. & comment man how are we wimps, we live in bloody Sask where it's one extreme to the other.
He then starts to swear up a storm of gibberish & my other uncle asks him to tone it down a bit, there's little kids around. Drunk uncle retorts, my own f'n kids are around I can f'n swear if i want, f***, f***, F***!!!! It's getting heated, I'm sitting between the two so I tell them to both stop it. I tell my kool uncle to forget about it, it isn't worth it. Then drunk uncle looks at me & tells me
"shut the f*ck up. just shut up shut up shut up shut the F*** up!"
I'm so close to tears & ask him why would he say that he's my uncle. He tells me again. He keeps telling me over & over again so I can't even open my mouth. Now after the day I've had I can't take it. I tell him no i'm not taking this I WILL NOT shut up. Things escalate my aunt gets involved & then my unlce tells her to shut up as well. He looks like he's going to hit her. The family is appalled. All hell is breaking lose. My uncle gets irrate & starts throwing logs into the fire to the point where he may hurt someone. He's yelling his head off. He wants to hurt my aunt. My dad gets in & takes him down. My aunt screams its done, they're over, yes he beats her. My gramma is screaming at my uncle to never tell her own daughter to shut up. I'm shaking. Fitting end to a wonderful day.
Today everyone woke up to a beautiful warm day on the beach but walking on eggshells. My aunt looks so sad & broken, my asshole of an uncle has the tenacity to hang out with everyone all day like nothings happened. He looks at me with defiance throughout the day , no sign of apologies there. What have I ever done to him? I'm now home. I asked my dad to drive me back tonight. I couldn;t handle watching my uncle drink again. I f'n hate binge alcoholics, & no one in my family is stepping up. He needs to be removed. NOW.
Wow did I ever spew out personal shite on this "blog" tonight. I guess I'm lonely, & need release. I need fucking gratification right now that I'm a good person. What a fucked up couple of days. How am I to face work tomorrow?? Thank god only 3 more days. I'm going to Shambhala to recharge & come back a somewhat patched together me.
Bono I'm going to miss you....thanks for coming by work on friday. It's so amazing how much energy & strength you give me, I've never been able to communicate that to you (i suck with feelings) i'm sure counting down the days til jordy & i hop on that u'haul to vancouver.
posted by Natty at 11:09 PM
3 Comments:
i am speechless, natty.
all i can say is stand strong. karma will be good to you.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
thanx dan...hey who's this chet guy?? I'm slightly confuzzled by the post he left. ah whatever...by the way you're awesome as well. I hope I get to work with you again soon, if not we should really get around to that godzilla-fest huh?
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