This is the end, my only friend
Well in spirit of my co-partner in crime's last day at the HMV I have compiled a list of top 10 people the Bono can be happie he'll never have to deal with again...
*ahem* Drum roll please...
10. Clinton Thiel
----damn no more lists of crappie metal to look up & fax back to him at the Bruno Credit Union. Should I just go ahead & fax them to you at Metrotown?
9. Laddie from the Hairstyle Inn
---Darn you'll never get to see his horrible self portraits at the Ex this year!
8. Laddie's Demon-Spawn Daughter
---*snaps fingers in face* "Can I get some f'n service here?!!? I'm a f'n hairstylist in a MALL, I demand you lick my shoes, lowlife music store employee!!" Ick, you lucky bastard for leaving this behind...
7. Irresistable Encore Lady
---Ok it's too bad I'll have no one to make fun of Ms. Penguin. God I hope she never wears that flippin dress again!
6. Swagger King
---Ok this one really doesn't count cuz I don't even really get to see him anymore, unless I take a trip to Market Mall I guess. Maybe I will, for old times sake.
5. Quatch
---I don't even know where to begin on this guy. The hair, the glasses, the horrible Bruce Springsteen references...."Hello Victoria!!"
4. The "Dontcha Know" Man
---Hey Jon, I heard that THE vinyl factory burnt down. Shoot where are we going to get our vinyl now?? Dontcha know Elvis is the King??
3. Jean "Bat"ko
---I swear to god I will forever be afraid of the sound of an approaching shopping cart. Should I send you a Marilyn Monroe collection on VHS so you can reminise? Oh wait how about the D.V.D.??
2. Asshole in a Suit
---Sorry I never caught his name, but be SO fuckin thankful you don't work tomorrow!!! Hey Space 1999 came out before you were BORN Jon!!
And the #1 person you should be so amazingly-thank-my-fucking-stars happie to never EVER see again....
1. Rick Reddekopp
---Wow no more clefty, no more woman shaped glasses, no more "I've shut down bigger operations than this before", no more staring into your soul with those damn stupid eyes pretending to give a crap...whoa Natty stop, stop...what are you.....AH RICK WATCH OUT SHE'S GONNA CLUB YA WITH THAT BAT!!!!!!
Other honorable mentions include...the biblical-movies woman, the tantric master, the creep who talks real slow & LOVES Sheryl Crow, the People's cart freak, & our very own mallrat in the blue t-shirt & ball cap. I'm sure there's a 1000 more...there has to be after 6 yrs but I can't bring myself to continue. The bottom line is they & I, Natty-Bo-Batty, will miss you very very much Jono. Here's to you & the fact that you survived this madness!!
*please save me...*
posted by Natty at 8:03 PM
5 Comments:
Wow. Thats quite the send off!
I'm so glad that the entire world can now know the joys of someone like Quatch.
I'm not gone for ever though. I'm sure I'll encounter my fair share of looneys in Vancouver.
Bring em on, I say!
Aw shit...I already miss you though, today was madness!!! It felt worse than boxing day. I dunno what I'm still doing up, too tired to sleep, getting cracked out on Tales From the Punchbowl *primus goodness* Isn't Southbound Pachiderm one of the best songs ever written,go listen to it now I say!!!
that is quite the definative list, and the picture is bittersweet icing on the cake.
Can I add a few more here...
Tumble Weed: May you never see that shuffle "have my feet tied up like I am running a fu**in 3 legged race" on him ever. The day we find a Johnny Cash & Merle Haggard album, we'll call yah.
Phantom Of the Opera Woman: If you can call her a woman to be honest. I think the scarier thing is both her bum rolly eyes that twitch at the sound of saying anything Phantom to her. Next time I'll tell her it was the worst thing that was ever made and we'll see how her rolly eyes act then...
Trolly: I think her smell can tell the tale of that creature.
Omigod!! I forgot some killer ones there hey...thanks for the contribution!!
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